Hat Day
So apparently today was hat day at Brinley's school. They are doing a read-a-thon fundraiser and as a reward for reaching certain milestones, the kids get to participate in fun things like pajama day, hat day and the cherry on top is having the principal serve them lunch in full construction gear (I know, I don't get it either).
Of course we were already running late and as I'm signing her into the log at the before-school daycare program I look up to see her eyes filling with tears as she takes in all the hat clod children. No of course I had a meeting in exactly 47 minutes and I had a 45 minute drive ahead of me but I immediately booked it out to my car as fast as my stiletto ankle boots (let's pause her a sec as these are basically the only non-Mom shoes that I own) would allow to go back and retrieve her unicorn hat from where she'd discarded it earlier that morning at the top of our entryway stairs even though I'd insisted on her taking it in her back-pack, just in case. If she'd listened then this whole hat day crisis could have been avoided. But I digress...
Anyway, as I'm calling my husband while speeding back home and asking if he knew it was "hat day" I realize that there always seems to be something lurking like "hat day" to trip us parents up and disappoint our kids.
And of course I always seem to be the mom that feels just a half step behind because I missed the email, app message, school flier or sky writing declaring the next thing that we have to remember.
Too often I seem to be the one that forgets about dress up day at gymnastics of bring a stuffed animal friend for reading corner on and on. And no matter how hard I try, something always seems to fall through the cracks!
But while I raced back home today to save her from disappointment, that is not something that I normally do and here's why: I am trying to raise a child who knows how to handle both big and little let downs. I'm trying to teach her personal responsibility and that mom and dad won't always be there to bail her out.
It's the same reason why I don't pack her back pack for her. Why I insist she brings me her book sign off sheet if she wants credit for her reading. She is ultimately responsible for her future and her choices and I want her to learn that, even at such a young age!
"But Jess, she's only 6." I can hear someone say. And that is right, which is why sometimes mom coming to the rescue is warranted. But last week when she put Scruffy, her favorite stuffed animal, by her back-pack for reading time but then raced out the door without him, I didn't run it over to school. I sent a note to her teacher to make sure she was okay and not completely sidelined by the disappointment but I let her come home and tell me how she learned she wasn't alone in having forgotten her animal and how she got to borrow one of Mrs. Matson's. She learned a lot of valuable lessons that day, including that if things don't go exactly how you want or planned, that it will be okay. She also has a much higher chance of remembering next time!
There are other valuable lessons that she learns as well when I get out of the way and let her gently fall. Like last year, when I had failed to realize that the week before Halloween was dance dress-up day and I knelt down in the lobby and told her that she had two choices, one was to come home with Mommy if she didn't want to go into class without her costume or two, to hold her head up high and confidently walk into class declaring that she was a ballerina she wiped her nose on her arm and stared at me with those beautiful blue green eyes and said that she wanted to go in. She got a bit braver that day and I was so proud of her!
So while I'll of course try and avoid the "hat day" pitfalls and help gently remind her of the things she needs to remember and be responsible for, I won't always come to the rescue. I'll let her feel those disappointments knowing that I will be right there to listen to her cry and remind her how wonderful she is and how much she is loved. And that all those little bumps are making her a bit stronger and preparing her for all that God has in store for her.
I also won't beat myself up for these mom misses and know that my worth as a parent doesn't come from perfect "spirit day" remembrance. We are all doing our best as mamas and I choose to give myself credit vs. criticism. I never intended to be a perfect parent, but I want my kids to know how much they are loved, valued and most importantly how much they are loved by God. That is all I can ask! Even when I forget about hat day...
Of course we were already running late and as I'm signing her into the log at the before-school daycare program I look up to see her eyes filling with tears as she takes in all the hat clod children. No of course I had a meeting in exactly 47 minutes and I had a 45 minute drive ahead of me but I immediately booked it out to my car as fast as my stiletto ankle boots (let's pause her a sec as these are basically the only non-Mom shoes that I own) would allow to go back and retrieve her unicorn hat from where she'd discarded it earlier that morning at the top of our entryway stairs even though I'd insisted on her taking it in her back-pack, just in case. If she'd listened then this whole hat day crisis could have been avoided. But I digress...
Anyway, as I'm calling my husband while speeding back home and asking if he knew it was "hat day" I realize that there always seems to be something lurking like "hat day" to trip us parents up and disappoint our kids.
And of course I always seem to be the mom that feels just a half step behind because I missed the email, app message, school flier or sky writing declaring the next thing that we have to remember.
Too often I seem to be the one that forgets about dress up day at gymnastics of bring a stuffed animal friend for reading corner on and on. And no matter how hard I try, something always seems to fall through the cracks!
But while I raced back home today to save her from disappointment, that is not something that I normally do and here's why: I am trying to raise a child who knows how to handle both big and little let downs. I'm trying to teach her personal responsibility and that mom and dad won't always be there to bail her out.
It's the same reason why I don't pack her back pack for her. Why I insist she brings me her book sign off sheet if she wants credit for her reading. She is ultimately responsible for her future and her choices and I want her to learn that, even at such a young age!
"But Jess, she's only 6." I can hear someone say. And that is right, which is why sometimes mom coming to the rescue is warranted. But last week when she put Scruffy, her favorite stuffed animal, by her back-pack for reading time but then raced out the door without him, I didn't run it over to school. I sent a note to her teacher to make sure she was okay and not completely sidelined by the disappointment but I let her come home and tell me how she learned she wasn't alone in having forgotten her animal and how she got to borrow one of Mrs. Matson's. She learned a lot of valuable lessons that day, including that if things don't go exactly how you want or planned, that it will be okay. She also has a much higher chance of remembering next time!
There are other valuable lessons that she learns as well when I get out of the way and let her gently fall. Like last year, when I had failed to realize that the week before Halloween was dance dress-up day and I knelt down in the lobby and told her that she had two choices, one was to come home with Mommy if she didn't want to go into class without her costume or two, to hold her head up high and confidently walk into class declaring that she was a ballerina she wiped her nose on her arm and stared at me with those beautiful blue green eyes and said that she wanted to go in. She got a bit braver that day and I was so proud of her!
So while I'll of course try and avoid the "hat day" pitfalls and help gently remind her of the things she needs to remember and be responsible for, I won't always come to the rescue. I'll let her feel those disappointments knowing that I will be right there to listen to her cry and remind her how wonderful she is and how much she is loved. And that all those little bumps are making her a bit stronger and preparing her for all that God has in store for her.
I also won't beat myself up for these mom misses and know that my worth as a parent doesn't come from perfect "spirit day" remembrance. We are all doing our best as mamas and I choose to give myself credit vs. criticism. I never intended to be a perfect parent, but I want my kids to know how much they are loved, valued and most importantly how much they are loved by God. That is all I can ask! Even when I forget about hat day...
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